"You rate your self, your being, your personality, your essence, your totality, in terms of two main goals: (1) Your achieving success or effectiveness in your accomplishments. Your school, your work, your projects. When you succeed in getting what you want (and avoiding what you don't want), you say that is good. Great! But you rate yourself and say, "I am a good person for succeeding!" When you fail to satisfy your achievement goals, you say, "That is bad; and I am bad." (2) When your goal is relating well to other people and you actually relate well and win their approval, if you tie up your relating to your self-esteem--your worth as a person--then you tell your self, "that is good!" and also, "I am a good and worthy person." If you fail to win the approval of significant others, you then rate your effort and your self as unworthy." ~ Albert Ellis, "The Myth of Self-Esteem"
SOUNDS ABOUT NORMAL, NO? SEE ANY ISSUES WITH THAT DEFINITION?
(Defining self-esteem is extremely difficult, as are many words when discussing philosophy!)
When I began studying counseling, Albert Ellis was a living legend. He was a prolific writer and famous for his revolutionary ideas on psychology that helped make progress in mental health care.
He was also infamous for being "irascible" at times. Perhaps he got very irritated and impatient with those less talented than himself. I don't know. I do know that he had a horrible childhood and am amazed at his ability to rise from those depths. I have over 10 books he wrote and separate his foibles from his wisdom. I have great affection for the man who spoke straight and didn't tolerate BS well.
He was also infamous for being "irascible" at times. Perhaps he got very irritated and impatient with those less talented than himself. I don't know. I do know that he had a horrible childhood and am amazed at his ability to rise from those depths. I have over 10 books he wrote and separate his foibles from his wisdom. I have great affection for the man who spoke straight and didn't tolerate BS well.
He went to work every day until he was in his 90's. One day he had an altercation with a person in his office and was, subsequently, "fired" from his own creation, The Ellis Institute. It was a scandal. To experience this tragedy at 90? Sad. Possibilities of dementia must be considered. I believe, as with children, we must make allowances for the elderly. If every "great" person, every contributor to society, were judged on their faults alone, then we, as a society, are guilty and in danger of losing the wisdom of the greatest minds of humanity.
IN HOMAGE TO YOU, ALBERT ELLIS
SEE POST: WHEN YOUR SELF-ESTEEM TAKES A DIVE
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