As a child of the 60's I am no stranger to the devastation of war. Our boyfriends, our sons, our men came home different, never to be the same again. They suffered; many, many became addicted to substances; many could never work again. This suffering extended to the family, friends, and community. These costs of war seem to be repeating and increasing recently.
And now, we have once again sent our young men into questionable wars! To quote several veterans, "It stinks over there!"
Do you realize what kind of havoc we are creating for our next generation? Wars maim relationships; they tear families apart. They incur both physical and mental health problems.
I am a child of a veteran of WWII. At a very young age, I had the sense of understanding the effect war has on people, on men who fight and kill. It is sick; it makes people sick; the sickness extends to their families and spreads like rivers of blood into society.
My father was raised by a father who survived WWI and a prison camp. We can only imagine the pain and the dysfunction that is handed down from generation to generation. If you believe in the Bible, it is handed down "unto the 3rd and 4th generations." Maybe there is some wisdom in that.
|You don't see these images very often on mainstream news!|
But now, you who are living these wars, and waiting for your loved ones to return to you, and experiencing the damage done from the tragedy and sickness of war; can you understand? Do you realize how wars are weakening this country, instead of strengthening it? Use caution when swallowing what the government is feeding you.
Here is an article that I thought was insightful and touches on realities of life and war. I hope you benefit by it.
(You don't see these images on corporate TV very often, eh?)
Reviewed by John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on September 1, 2011
According to the researchers, depressive symptoms and relationship troubles are both risks for returning service members.
In the study, Leanne Knobloch, Ph.D., suggested ways for preserving healthy relationships – with many of the ideas helpful for any individual, not just returning vets.
Returning service members are at a greater risk of both depressive symptoms and relationship distress, and research shows the two often go together, Knobloch said. That’s not a good thing, since someone suffering from depressive symptoms “really needs the support of their romantic partner.”
Two consistent themes were found among vets reentering stateside life. The first was relationship uncertainty, and the second was the awareness that conflict will arise as the partner or spouse interferes with the vet’s establishment of a new routine or everyday life.
The authors believe that service members should recognize relationship uncertainty and should address the issues, rather than avoid them, and they believed vets should work to resolve issues that will inevitably develop.
In the study, these situations linked depressive symptoms and relationship distress, Knobloch said. “These may be pathways through which people’s depressive symptoms make them dissatisfied or unhappy with their relationships.”
They may help explain why depressive symptoms and relationship distress are connected, she said, “and the why is important because it suggests how to attack the problem, how to break the link.”
Knobloch emphasized that having questions or uncertainty about a relationship is not unusual for those with depressive symptoms. “People with depressive symptoms have a tendency to question everything in their lives,” she said.
Feelings of interference from a partner are also not unusual, she said, given that each person has grown accustomed to doing things on their own during the deployment.
The study’s conclusions fit with a model of relational turbulence that Knobloch and others have created to understand transitions in relationships.
The authors found that distress in the relationship was no more or less likely for couples who had been through multiple deployments versus those who had been through just one.
“Military couples often say that every deployment is different,” Knobloch said.
They did find, however, that distress was more likely among those in the latter part of their six months after return, which fits with research by others.
“Our findings are important because returning service members and their partners sometime think that the transition home is going to be a honeymoon period where everything is just romance and roses,” Knobloch said. “They can be disillusioned if they run into obstacles.”
They might be better prepared for the potential upheaval, however, “if they recognize that it’s a normal part of the process, that many couples go through it and it doesn’t mean your relationship is not good,” she said.
“Depression is a really hard thing, and if people can separate their relationship problems from the depression itself, then they’re a step ahead,” Knobloch said.
If you are suffering and having symptoms about what you saw and did in the war, this level of psychology probably does not go deep enough into your issues. The article skims over the realities, the horrible after effects of war.
You can get help in healing and dealing with your issues by seeing a good therapist. Ask for one specializing in Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).